1:11am and my legs are wrapped around my body pillow. I’m laying in bed and staring at my phone. I can’t sleep. I stopped smoking and I think my withdrawl is me not being able to sleep. I will admit, I stopped smoking because I am looking for a new job. I’m sick of this bullshit. I’ve have one too many close encounters with putting bitches in a arm bar. I know I’m rambling. But fuck it…
I miss smoking. I really do. I’m not someone who judges. I’ve realized in the past 6 months how many older people I know smoke weed. It baffles me! These past 6 months I’ve learned a lot. As cliche as that sounds. I did. I learned how to roll the perfect blunt. I’ve learned to always keep your cool in any situation. I’ve learned I’m in remission. (Yay!) Lol I’ve learned that my attitude towards social networks has changed. I’ve realized that I have more respect towards humanity. I’ve learned to embrace my love for old hollywood. And I’ve learned that everyone has bits and pieces of their past that will forever remain secret.
I’m convinced that everyone has a past life. Our souls never died. They just re appear in another body and continue their never ending journey. I was once a hippie. I love nature, I have a connection with trees, as weird as it may sound. I hate people who always have something negative to say whether its insulting someone or making a situation seem worse then what it is. Rudeness doesn’t get anyone anywhere. I’ve accepted that I don’t always like being the life of the party. Its too much work for one person all the time. I want everyone to just chill the fuck out, smoke a blunt , lay down on the grass, stare at the sun and enjoy the little things. Like breathing. Being able to touch someone. Getting the sensation of running your fingers thru your hair. Having a sense of humor. bending your knees to be able to dance. Things like that..
Mellowed out. Listening to my playlist of 2008. The future with each passing day gets a bit darker. But the past gets brighter. I’ve decided to take my past and put it on film. Well my future past. If that makes sense.
its getting late. Time to get lost in the back of my skull. Filter down my spinal cord, and be corspe. For the next couple of hours at least….